Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
