so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
wow bdsm is so cute
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize