Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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