we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize