Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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