Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Someone shit on the floor
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
