she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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