Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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