We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
