I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize