Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
