bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize