So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
and she was petting her beer can
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize