$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
