Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
