I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
