I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
