Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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