So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
