The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
