All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
