The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
