She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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