Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
