Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
