She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
