everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
