I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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