I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize