my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
