Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh god it's open bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
