I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have feelings that need drinking.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dicks are not precious.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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