how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
