"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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