So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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