You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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