Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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