I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
