too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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