Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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