he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she looked like the before picture.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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