I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
