In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
