i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
