'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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