I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
