The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize