Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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