ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize