I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
