Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Come on in and take your pants off
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