is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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