So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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