So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
