We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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