We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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