all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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