seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
