It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
