Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize