he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
please come you make the beer taste better
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
