I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
