If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
