Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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