1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
