haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
